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The Real Losers of Yishun

Monday, July 9, 2018

The Real Losers of Yishun

We know that we’ve been making fun of Yishun quite a little, but we actually like Yishun so far… it just needs a little more good food around the area. And so, here we are once again, with another Sunday comedy, and today, a few residents of Yishun are facing mid-life crisis on losing their jobs. At the same time, apparently.


That explains why they are sitting at the void deck in broad daylight


Seetoh Da laments about his concerns at losing his income, losing his wife and children, while Ria Warna worries about her 65-year old ketupat, as she might have to sacrifice it to have a livelihood.


I’m not sure if the ketupat is still safe for human consumption


Sebastian, on the other hand, shows up with a legendary golden nail clipper


Who carries a nail clipper around anyway?


But before he can do anything with it, Xiao Bitch arrives with a piece of good news, that we’ve already known.


Seems a little familiar…


No pulling!


Indignant that Xiao Bitch is able to get a job in this economy, Ria gets personal.


Round is also a shape


And of course, Xiao Bitch, being the ever positive beacon of light, advises her friends to simply adapt and grow.


Just not in this way


Xiao Bitch consoles everyone by reminding them of their strengths.


Just a little



The image of perfection


But when even positive reinforcement doesn’t help…


That choker really looks a little too tight here


Still can’t get over her 65 years old ketupat


“Just a little ugly…”


And the losers still can’t see how can they come back from unemployment at their age and (lack of) skills to the extent that even Xiao Bitch gets fed up.


Wide, unmoving eyes. Enlarged nostrils. If encountered in the wild, turn back and run for your life.


Xiao Bitch provides anecdotes of the losers’ previous work experiences starting from Ria, in order to encourage them.


Look closely at the blackboard besides Ria, and Ria’s wrist tells the time, apparently.


Ria is teaching her drama class when it’s time for the kids to have their milk.


And these overgrown kids are excited over milk


But an incident occurs, upsetting the other kids


More overgrown kids


And Ria, being Ria, has the figurative lightbulb in her head lit up to solve the crisis!


SFX: Ding!


She immediately transform into a 65 year old Elsa, the Disney princess from Frozen


Who seems to look more like Disney witches than a princess


With the problem solved, and crisis averted, we move on to the next loser, Sebastian.


Seeming to be doing a good job as a make-up artist…


Just a little too avant-garde with the contouring


With that, Sebastian has satisfied another customer for the day


Oh yeah


And with that beautiful makeup on, the customer flags a Grab…




Only to encounter Seetoh Da


Who’s apparently showing a local the sights, why though, why?


Bringing all the flashbacks to a close, Xiao Bitch reminds them that their strengths can be utilised in different areas, and they are still able to excel in other fields. Beginning to see the glimmer of hope, the losers break into chorus.


Awful singing ensues


After being introduced to Workforce Singapore’s Adapt and Grow initiatives, the losers began to find their own niche.


Sebastian, being a property agent, being able to sweet talk his customers…


Hang on, the girl looks a little familiar


And Ria being a youth counsellor, being good with kids


Threatening works too, I guess


Where have I seen this girl before…


And finally, Seetoh Da, putting his knowledge and passion for all things Singapore to good use, by working as a tour guide


Just like how humans are one part “hu”, one part “man”


Seetoh Da kindly advises the very familiar looking tourists on what to do with the Merlion


By drinking the Merlion’s vomit, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity, and progress for our nation


With that, the video comes to an end, encouraging people not to give up, and to continue to adapt and grow with the changing times. Sebastian ends off with a weird dance that is better for you to watch for yourself.

PS: If you observe closely, there’s actually a “story” going on with the female customer that keeps appearing. 😉


Night Owl Cinematics – NOC