#TBT: Shit Lifeguards Say!

Thursday, July 5, 2018

#TBT: Shit Lifeguards Say!

It’s another Thursday, so let’s have a look at one of our popular career videos from 2017, Shit Lifeguards Say, led by our ever popular Franster!

As always, we start off with an interview of Franster, the lifeguard with 35 years of experience at the young age of…

 

… 32. I wonder how many years of experience does he have in Maths.

 

He continues describing to us how he’s born a swimmer

 

Though I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works

 

Sharing his bountiful “experience” with us, he tells us how he keeps watch over the pool with his “Eagle Eyes”. He spots something that is not right.

 

Doing the fourth wall breaking before Deadpool was cool

 

Now that’s better. And still breaking the fourth wall in the process

 

After Franster does everyone a favour, he goes on to talk about how much he hopes that it doesn’t rain. And he demonstrates it to us…

 

By celebrating sunny days with failed twerking?

 

Franster then goes on to talk about kids. Oh yes, the kids. It is dangerous for kids to run around the swimming pool because they might just slip and fall, or to dive into the pool in the case that the depth is too shallow and they might just hit the floor just like that. It’s also no-no for kids to wear a watermelon helmet in the pool because…

 

No food and drinks in the pool?

 

And while doing his job “dutifully”, he expresses his frustrations at always having girls wanting to talk to him. I wonder if it’s because he tries to apply sunscreen on everyone he sees?

 

You’re welcome, boys

 

Okay, maybe not everyone.

 

Madness? This. Is. SPARTA!!!

 

Sometimes, no matter how much you try to prevent accidents from happening, accidents do happen. This is when Franster’s professional set of skills come into play. This is what typically happens when he tries to save someone who’s drowning.

 

He’s so skilled that he has the time to practise synchronised swimming while saving someone

 

Erm. Accidents do happen sometimes

 

And the job isn’t done when the drowning victim has been successfully brought out from the pool. They might actually fall unconscious, and that’s when they need to use CPR to resuscitate the victim.

 

Though drowning victims typically don’t have dry hair and puckered lips

 

Oh, he also mentions about a taboo in the pool. Something that everyone does, but no one admits to. Peeing in the pool.

 

Really, Thongtham? Peeing is fine, but not when it’s shitting? Double standards.

 

Our very professional lifeguard, Franster, also offers swimming lessons in his free time, though his intentions are kind of dubious somewhat.

 

Definitely sexual harassment

 

Just when the interview is about done, a crisis happens. A cry for help resounds, and our heroic Franster jumps into action, Baywatch-style.

 

The drowning victims of Baywatch, not the lifeguards

 

Fret not though, the crisis is averted, as the initial ‘victim’ made it to the shore safely.

 

The ‘victim’ is so scared that it’s turning blue

 

Watch the full video below if you haven’t, or intend to re-watch it to get some nostalgia! And look out for the next #TBT article next Thursday!